Feeling down today. I keep hoping that I will get a spring-induced manic episode to wash out the depression. My current psychiatrist is a fool, I am in the market for someone who will take my condition seriously. All he does is make jokes and laugh at his own crap during my session. My application for disability based on my bipolar disorder was turned down, and is now in the appeals progress. It is so hard to express to people just how debilitating this disease can be. every day is a fight for happiness. Sarah makes me smile every day, so do the kiddos at work. Without her I would be lost. Keep your fingers crossed for me on that manic episode peeps. I could sure use the energy. I have strep throat for the second time this month as well, which is killing my energy and motivation to do anything useful. Oh well, life goes on I suppose. At least that’s what they tell me.
I need to cancel/reschedule the drs appointment that I have today. I don’t want to call because I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to go. I have nothing to say. I’ve taken 600mg in the last two days, which was enough (+ sleep) to bring me back down a bit but I’m angry with myself for things that happened yesterday at work and I KNOW I need to take my lithium more consistently; going to see the doc today won’t really change that.
Going to the Dr. can be rough if you are in the middle of an episode. I don’t even know you and it hurts me to see that you are not taking your meds regularly. Over the years I have come to terms with the fact that meds are a necessary evil in Bipolar Disorder. The doc may be able to offer a new med or some insight that you haven’t thought of. Spring can be the worst time for manic episodes, so please be careful!
I think the biggest myth about dieting is that when you achieve whatever pound-goal you have set in your head, your life will have changed for the better. To be smaller, to reduce yourself means you’ll be able to attract the sort of romantic partner you want, you’ll get the sort of job you deserve, you’ll just be more innately happy.
But the thing is, that’s hokum. The thing you get when you lose weight is a different number on a scale. That number isn’t good or bad. That number has no real power at all other than what we assign it. Most of us can assign it enough power that I’m surprised the damn scale doesn’t bellow, “TEN POINTS HUFFLEPUFF!” every time someone steps upon it.Science Says Dieting Causes Depression and I Am So Not Surprised | xoJane (via brute-reason)